The Two Everlasting Relationships

Human beings have a thirst to be in touch with other people, being the social animals. The hierarchy starts from our parents to siblings to siblings of parents, grand parents, friends, teachers, official contacts, the personal relationships and so on. Now, what do we do is, sneaking around the changing values and trends to keep these relationships stronger and beneficial. This takes the whole life of a person to make efforts in order to keep the people happy. But what does it return, in general, we just keep on trying over and over again but can never be up-to the mark for anyone. Ultimately, we just repent for spending our whole life running after the relationship and circles for having nothing valuable in the long run.

Let's take a view what does happen when we reach the extreme of dis-obedience or hurting someone:

• Parents can say, go away you are not our child
• Siblings say, go away you are not able to be called my brother/sister.
• Other maternal and paternal relations will also dis-own us.
• Friends can leave us in the mid-way, saying, you does not fit good for my friendship
• Spouse can give you a divorce 
• A future spouse can ask for a break-up

and that becomes all for what we've been running after. 

But still there are two relationships that can never be broken, come what may. And they are:

• Your relationship with yourself
• Your relationship with God

No matter, how much cruel you are, how much evil lies in you, how much hateful personality you possess or how bigger sinner you are... You can not dis-own yourself, it's always yours... And God does not say that you don't belong to Him..

So, the need is to make a firm bonding with yourself and with God. Problem arises when we don't value ourselves and we break our bond with God... it just misleads us, makes us lost in ourselves and does not lead us becoming a good human being.

If you want to explore the world, first try finding yourself. If you want to make good relationships with others, you need to make a good relationship with yourself and the God because these are most easy to go with and won't let you go ever, as well.

Remember!

If you want to think out of the box, you must learn what is inside the box.

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Celebrities by Birth!

In our daily life, we plan to do a number of tasks. Some of them are short term; some are on long term orientation. Whatever we do, there comes a need to fulfil the pre-requisites of that particular activity.

For example, if you want to wake up early in the morning. You might set an alarm for it, or may ask your family member to wake you up, or you might be an early bird so you plan to go early to the bed for you may get up early in the morning. There are sort of things that we do before accomplishing any day to day activity. Similarly, there is always a purpose behind doing anything. Even if you want to sleep, it might be because of several purposes. Like you might be too tired to stay awake, you might have eaten well that may cause you fall asleep, or you might have nothing to do so you went asleep etc.

There is a sharp cause and effect relationship in our daily life. A few days back I was learning about the increasing rate of suicide attempts. They all had a variety of reasons behind. Some people had a failure in love, others were messed up with poverty, and the people who had a great lose all in a sudden and even the students who could not get good grades in exams attempted suicide etc.

We often listen a couple of famous words:

“The world is residing on hope.”

As soon as we lose hope, we lose what we are. And when hope comes to an end, people bring their lives to an end. But it is not only about hope and happiness for which a life can be given worth. Instead there is another important aspect, called the RESPONSIBILITY for which we are blessed with life. We can never ever find, even a single thing or a process in the world which is of no use but exists. Human being is the most complicated and amazing creature, so how can we think that we don’t have any purpose of life left?

Neglecting a duty can’t justify that we are not accountable of it. I don’t find any task of everyday life which is not abide by a number of causes and generates a number of effects. It makes sense that we are living in a world, which is versatile in nature. So, everything in it is having versatile purposes.  Then how can we associate our lives to only one or a few purposes? No, this doesn't make sense. We being the most amazing and complicated creature must have various purposes of our life. If we don’t get success in one, must try figuring out the other and work for it.

If you don’t find any purpose of your life any-more (after a certain failure or a destined success) just look around yourself, the environment in your living area and outside it. You’ll find a number of reasons to live for.

You’ll see the beautiful nature to study,

the deprived people asking for your help, 

that little child whose parents are gone will be looking for livelihood and shelter from you, 

that boy being pissed in child labour asking for a favour to get educated, 

that lady whose children have left her in an old age home might ask you for some kind words and respect, that old man who is having a load on his back might be looking for you to ask him for rest, 

that girl whose parents are not able to afford dowry might need your help to get her married, 

the drugged person on the road corner asking for rehabilitation, 

an alone person looking for a shoulder to shed tears on, 

the poor dying person in need of medication for his life, 

and you’ll find a person going for suicide will be in need of your words for telling him there is a lot to do don’t go for suicide as life is a priceless one time opportunity to spread smiles on the faces of people.

Yes! We are not worthless; we are needed in some way or the other. The world, the nature really needs you so you were born.

If I summarise the cause and effect of our lives, it comes to be as simple as:

Cause: The nature needed us

Effect: We took birth

So, if we don’t spend our lives for the cause. We are really accountable for it one day. Don’t let people go without working for the cause of life. Realize yourself and make others realize themselves. Help is always needed from strong and valued people. We are born because nature needs us for greater accomplishments, so are Celebrities By Birth.

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Oh Shit!

"Oh No! Oh Shit!" are the words, spoken, when we see something wrong in our surroundings. I happen to think on this as I noticed that whenever someone use to talk about the bitter realities of the society, that were unsought before, people say" Oh Shit! don't talk about such things." .

No doubt, there are certain things that are emerging and enveloping our society in a way causing fatal diseases to the spirituality, mentality and personal growth of a person. And we happen to listen from our elders that when they were of our age, the things were not so worse as they are now. Further, there are such people who are ignorant of the evils prevailing in our society. So, when we talk about those destructive things the listener says "Kindly don't tell me these things, they are shameful." . This is enough to prove that those acts are really abusive in nature and STILL HAPPENING in-spite of the presence of the people who think they are bad, no matter we admit it or not.

For example, I was telling a friend of mine (she is a noble girl) that I have come to know the excessive rate of fornication (in the name of love) in the young generation. And she just said (for the sake of her purity) that "Leave it, what are we talking about.". This is how the majority of our people respond. At that time I happen to think, this behaviour of our is like "We don't feel bad until our food is in our stomach in the form of waste and we don't see that, but as we excrete that, we even don't wish to see. And we look it somewhere, we act like 'Oh shit!' "

Are the evils and bad only things those what we know? And what if we don't know them even if they exist??

One of my teachers (Mr. Saleem Raza) said one day:

"We must know the evil, if we want to eradicate it."

What I think should be the response is: if we come to know an evil of the society, be curious to know about it. So that, you may save yourself from it and educate others not to be a part rather saving yourself from listening it. If we continue to turn our face from all these things, I think, we'll be answerable one day for this blunder. It's like, a person is making yourself KNOW what is happening and you are choosing the way to be ignorant.

For example, what if someone say that tsunami is about to hit your city? Will you just put your hands on ear not to listen or will you rush to save yourself and telling others to leave the area or make some protective arrangements? And you'll run for your life and to save others, because you know tsunami is destructive.

I believe, that same should be the response when you hear about the evils of the society. Know your responsibility, as it is useless to turn your back to what you are accountable for. So that there will be a win win paradigm across the world.

And don't forget, "it is never too late to better yourself." . Because people are born on a good nature and that's the essence of life.


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Here lies the Success!

"Success" a fascinating and most desired word in our life. We all are running after it, somehow, and trying to find out the ways to be a successful person. So, I thought it would be great if we talk about how to meet the success in our lives as there are very simple rules and ways to meet it. And for this you don't "necessarily" have to be on the roof top of the field that you are finding success in. Now, here comes the need to define what is exactly the measure of success in one's life.

Someone has beautifully defined the soul of being a successful person by saying:

"Success is, defeating your last attempt"

It defines that if you do better than your previous attempt, it's the success point that you are standing upon. I feel it is a call, never to fear trying new things, whether you are expert in or not. Because if you don't dare to try, thinking that you are keeping yourself away from failure. But that's not the truth. Analysing it realistically, you would see that every time you skipped an attempt, you embraced a failure. It is not that if you jump into the arena and get defeated by your opponents, to be declared as a failed person. Check it on a true basis, failure is failure even if it is not a declared one and similarly the success is success even if no one contributes to recognize it.

As you overcome the fear to try, you are on the way to make success -at least- by defeating your past performances. Let's take an example here: A toddler is eager to walk but fears to fall on taking steps. If he gets harassed by the failure to stand up and the injuries he might get, he'll never learn how to walk. So he puts himself on the way to stand up first, for which he learns how to use his legs by crawling. Now, crawling is way lesser than walking. What if he considers his crawl a failure??? Obviously he will never use his legs which he could use to walk and even to run very fast.

For this, he has to believe that crawling is the first success or the first step to a successful walk. This optimism will surely make him crawl and crawl until he learns how to stand and walk. Going through all the steps of crawling and standing, then taking steps with the help of other objects, he will finally be a mature child to walk and run.

Here comes a thought that if we value the little things that we can do, we will surely be a successful person in our field one day. After putting efforts there comes a day, when finally we can stand in the fruitful and productive people. After this, if we continue, we happen to meet ourselves standing out the people of our field. The thing is to believe in what you are and what you can do.

We harp up upon the same string, saying that there is nothing useless in this world. Yeah, really there isn't! Then how can we think, what we have got is useless? We being the human beings are the superior creature, that makes me think, it's a sin to call ourselves as useless or any ability that we got. No! there isn't anything useless but the truth is, we don't find time and courage to evaluate what do our traits mean. The moment, we become able finding out there is a way to the network of ways to success. Yes, it is!

For the sake of it, do not compare your success with others. Looking onto the other aspect of defeating your last attempt says that, at a certain point, if you won a competition (in any field of life) but you won that keeping yourself lower than you naturally do, it's not a success (even if you are declared winner) but you failed to defeat to your last performance. It makes the idea quite refined, that "Success" means different in different scenarios.

What I have learnt till now is, Never fear! Never look down at yourself! Never give up! Be realistic towards what you are! Get into the role and grab your "success", because this way has a signal that says HERE LIES THE SUCCESS..

(It does not matter what it is or how it works, but you've got the coupons for a successful life. So, find it! :) )

Greed is Great!

Anyone can freak out, reading the title of today's post. But it's what I have learnt through experiences that truly or exactly, GREED IS GREAT!

Now, first of all I would like to clear what do I mean by greed. Keeping my experience in view it revealed to be:

"An ever unsatisfied desire to get something"

Now, this "something" can be power, wealth, good name, fame, a big social network, having your fans, enjoying appetising food, hangouts with friends, to be loved like no one else, be first in what you do etc. There is a great stuff that can be added to this "something". Most of us have an ever lasting desire to have these things in our lives and we demand them to be even greater than the last time, for which we keep up making efforts in devising new ways to satisfy the thirst.

So, what we see is, whenever we get our desired thing we are always looking to have it again and in the better form to keep up with the competing environment in every aspect of our life.

Let's take an example, that you do not wish birthday to your little boy. He will have a desire that you wish him someday and there comes a time when you finally bother to greet him. The next time you'll see that he has a desire to be wished along with a present, you do that to enhance his delight. Even next will be a wish of arranging a party so that he may share that bliss with his fellows and cousins, and you manage to do that the next time for he get satisfied. Coming up is a desire that his friends must get meals besides merely a piece of cake and the party must be a striking one, you do no do that and the result is unsatisfactory even if you celebrate the birthday you did the last time. By the time you'll notice that his thirst has been given a rise every-time you created a bigger event than before. But why? you were making efforts to win his delight..

What did it conclude is, the wish got a rise in the form of a greed every-time it got satisfied.

Greed is a propensity in all of us, we have got that by the time we took birth and swayed the flag of our existence on this earth. We were infant, we wanted to be in childhood, then wished for teenage, afterwards we want to live a mature life, we want to get married, we want kids and afterwards is a long list... This shows that the greed is really circulating like blood in our veins which not only enhances the thirst but makes it to get satisfied only if the next attempt is better than before. (That's why I feel it stands out from perseverance and consistency.)

Now turn the camera to the positive side and effects of this Greed, as we got the meaning that it adds to the thirst every-time it gets satisfied. All of us have a Dream, a Desire, a Goal for which we are living our lives.

I see greed, doing great things in the life of the people.

If we start speaking truth, its greed will create a society of true people. If we practice honesty, its greed will create an honest society. If we practice not to hurt the people, it will create a society of happy people. If we practice controlling our sexual desires, it will give birth to a society where every woman will be safe and free. As we'll start exploring ourselves, the greed will generate a world of successful people and so on. We can surely change the environment of the whole world if we keep doing the right things...

But be sure to add the greed...

"An ever unsatisfied desire to get something"

(I am on the way to be greedy to write the good stuff for people :) )

Minimizing and Utilizing the Problems

The word “Problems” exists in everyone’s life but with a different meaning. Similarly, “Problems” stay for a different period of time with different people. The truth behind is, sometimes problems do not stop chasing us and sometimes we don’t stop chasing problems.

It might seem foolish or meaningless that “sometimes we don’t stop chasing problems”. But this is the fact that restricts or extends the duration for the stay of a problem in our lives.

How do we chase problems?

The answer to this question is simple and easy to understand that if we come across certain problematic situation, instead of fighting and hiding it, we go on feeling and thinking that how bigger the problem is. This analysis, if goes on for longer period of time, makes us feel the exaggerated impacts of that particular problem.

This is a common phenomenon that we love to be in a company where we find that people value us and we like spending more of our time in them. Because we need value for ourselves and wherever we get it, we happen to be there and feel delighted. Same is the case with our spiritual and cognitive aspects that the more we value a particular aspect the more we feel it happening in our lives. If we feel and do things that create happiness for us and for others, it starts getting reflected in our practical life.

Same is the case with problems; they disturb us more when we go on thinking more about them or when we create problems for others they ultimately meet us somewhere. Because the problems feel that we value them by staying, thinking, exaggerating, communicating and spreading them.

How to respond to a problem?

• ·         Don’t get hyper instantly, as it lessens the ability to think.
• ·         Analyse quickly whether it is really a problem or just seems to be?
• ·         If it’s really a problem, check out the priority, whether it really targets you?
• ·         If you are the direct target, think about the possible ways to resolve it. And if others are also liable, first try to narrow down the number of targets.
• ·         Do not spend time, measuring the pain or lose the problem has given to you (it will add nothing in letting it go, further) it will not let you find out the quicker solutions for it.
• ·         Remember, there is always a remedy to a spiritual and cognitive disease. That gets revealed when you find it staying in control.
• ·         Keep yourself strong to deal with the situations staying normal. (I defeated 90% of my big problems when I responded to them staying in control and open to solutions.)
• ·         Never under-estimate yourself, the effect of being yourself is bigger than any other effect.

The key feature, that has helped me a lot in dealing with any kind of situation was “The thing I am doing being in anger can also be done staying normal” and the second way was the best every time, I did.

The second thing that added to my positive behaviour towards problems was, every bad situation ends up with some life time lessons and experiences. And I started taking it as a game to welcome any kind of situation with an open heart and mind because, in the end, it will give me something useful. Rather finding the difficulties and problems a disaster, now I find them opportunities to learn something new.

(Human nature is widely versatile and unpredictable, but still based on similarity some suggestions may work)

Dilemma of Human Nature

When we don't get a thing we were running after (in wrong direction), and the time takes that thing away from us after giving chances to embrace it.

We make an attitude, hiding ourselves behind "The grapes are sour, I shall not eat them" and feel that we are strong enough to leave that thing (while we are left with no opportunity any-more).

Life is to embrace the reality. The right is right even if we think it's wrong, while wrong is wrong even if we thing that it's right. 

Instead of feeling that fake strength, try to make right decisions at right time and let the TIME know that:

I realized it before you told me, 

and learnt it before you could teach me, 

and practised before you could beat me.